(Un)Happiness

Today I have been thinking about what makes people unhappy.

I think the answer is insecurities.

People get unhappy when they are unsure about things. Most importantly, other people. I think any situation in which people experience a negative interaction is 99% likely to be based on a misunderstanding. After all, I guess it is impossible not to misunderstand someone to at least some extent when all we have is the slight, subjective slice out of some unknowable greater reality. That which we do perceive is cut down and coloured by our own experiences and capabilities: eyes see only the "visible" portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. Furthermore, biased eyes refuse to see anything but yellow (to paraphrase a paraphrasing, very popular with one of the most influential people I know).

The other 1% of negative interactions are fuelled by previous experiences which were built on what was 99% likely to have been a misunderstanding.

Misunderstandings proliferate freely and can breed insecurities, which can breed further misunderstandings. There is probably no immediate prevention for either of them. But people would be happy if there was a cure.

Is there a cure? A way to learn to be happy? I think so. I've been trying for a long time to keep myself cured, and for the most part the cure is successful. It would be wholly successful if it was permanent but, like everyone, sometimes I get sad. I believe with practice the cure can become permanent, at which point it is also the prevention.

I think the cure is acceptance. I do not mean acceptance in a resignatory sense: one is not "doomed to fate" but one can accept and understand one's own lot along with the almost limitless possibilities for change. This is the start of being able to cherish it if it is good, or change it if it is bad. Not everyone is in acceptance, however, and these are the people prone to insecurities and misunderstandings.

It cannot be expected that other people will learn to accept. Therefore if they behave in a manner fuelled by insecurities they must be forgiven, that is, accepted. When receiving acceptance they may learn to become more accepting themselves.

I hope that one day I will become permanently accepting. When that happens I will be like Jesus or Buddha, or some shizzle like that. Then let's have a party and be happy.